Monday, April 1, 2013

Book Review: What A Son Needs From His Mom

What a Son Needs From His Mom
By Cheri Fuller
Bethany House, 2013
English, 224 pgs


From the Back Cover

Ever Feel Like Your Son Is From a Different Planet?

Don't worry, Mom. There's a good reason why your son perplexes you. He's the OPPOSITE sex! Boys really do think, communicate, and process the world differently than girls. But no matter your son's age, he needs you, and he needs you in not-so-apparent ways.
Drawing from her own experiences, as well as those from moms and sons from around the country, Cheri Fuller shares what makes boys and young men tick and how to become a more welcome influence at every stage in their lives. She answers all the top questions, including:

"How can I help my son (and me!) deal with his emotions in a healthy way?"
"School is such a struggle. How can I help him?"
"Our personalities are SO different. How can we get on the same page?"
"My son hardly says a thing. What can I do?"
"What are the best ways to instill good values?"
"How can I encourage a lasting faith in God?"

With page after page of use-it-today advice and encouraging stories, this book will help you steer your son toward becoming a caring, confident young man.

Includes Reflection Questions for Personal or Group Use

Great for understanding grandsons, too!
I have two wonderful (most of the time) little boys. I have often looked at my husband and said "I don't get them..." for whatever is it they're doing. I've often wondered what I can do to relate better and make them less "foreign" to me.

This book is wonderful. I have learned so much from it, I even took notes while reading. Some of the chapter titles are: A Mom Who Encourages, A Mom Who Builds Confidence in Her Son, A Mom Who Prays for Her Son, A Mom Who Stays Connected, and A Mom Who Nurtures Her Son's Faith.

Each chapter has questions at the end for further reflection and journaling. They would also be great if used in a group study session.

Some of the nuggets I've found are:

Give a boy a strong, sturdy foundation but allow them to grow wings of their own.
Praise the effort, not the outcome.
Words often fail with boys. Use visual photos, posters, etc.
They need mom to not panic when they get hurt. To not lecture or overreact.
Resiliency develops as boys wrestle through and solve problems.
Encourage competence by trusting him now and then with a responsibility that surprises him.
An anxious mother can create kids who struggle with anxiety their whole lives.
Only God has the power and ability to shape their hearts into deciding to follow Christ.
Prayer is our loving lifeline.
Help them learn to think objectively and don't always expect them to agree with you.
Ask them what they need from you. (Was surprised by my son's answer!)
Find hands-on ways to teach ethics and character traits.
One key to helping them manage their emotions is to be calm and manage my own.
Let them express emotions to learn to resolve them.
Slowly release control. Let them learn to walk their own path into adulthood.
Don't feel guilty for making yourself a priority.

My favorite: Our goal should be to do so good a job raising them that they no longer need us.

I studied this book. Every page. Answered every question. Now I can only hope that I can impart some of what I've learned into our lives. I like the idea of surprise responsibilities. A few days ago, I handed my son the post office key and let him go in to get the mail. Alone. The look of pride on his face was priceless. I know that simple action told him that I think he's capable of doing things without me and that I can trust him with a new job.

I'm getting all my friends with boys to buy this book. It covers ages from toddlers to adults. There is something in there for grandmothers, foster parents...anyone who cares for and has charge of a growing boy.

I received a copy of the book from Bethany House for the purpose of a review. No additional compensation has been received and I was not required to write a positive review.

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