Monday, September 16, 2013

Book Review: Unglued

Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions
By Lysa TerKeurst
Zondervan, 2012
English, 208 pgs

God gave us emotions to experience life, not destroy it! Lysa TerKeurst admits that she, like most women, has had experiences where others bump into her happy and she comes emotionally unglued. We stuff, we explode, or we react somewhere in between. What do we do with these raw emotions? Is it really possible to make emotions work for us instead of against us? Yes, and in her usual inspiring and practical way, Lysa will show you how. Filled with gut-honest personal examples and biblical teaching, Unglued will equip you to: Know with confidence how to resolve conflict in your important relationships. Find peace in your most difficult relationships as you learn to be honest but kind when offended. Identify what type of reactor you are and how to significantly improve your communication. Respond with no regrets by managing your tendencies to stuff, explode, or react somewhere in between. Gain a deep sense of calm by responding to situations out of your control without acting out of control.

This is one of the best books I've read in a while. I have already recommended it to a handful of women at church and have passed the book to my husband to read as well. You have to read it.

There are two basic types of people discussed in the book, exploders and stuffers. There are those who explode with emotion and those who stuff their feeling deep inside. Neither is really a good way to handle emotions. And you can be both, depending on circumstance and the person you're dealing with at the time.

It's important to note that the book is not a "miracle cure". You have to be willing to work toward the imperfect progress, wrapping yourself and your situations in grace. She teaches how to gain perspective in a situation as well as a few tips on how to keep from exploding or let emotions out without stuffing them inside.

She reminds us that we have the power to control our thoughts and that having conversations (or rehashing them) in our head can cause us to have unrealistic expectations and cause us to label ourselves and keep perpetuating the problem.

She discusses four categories: The Exploder Who Shames Herself, The Exploder Who Blames Others, The Stuffer Who Builds Barriers and The Stuffer Who Collects Retaliation Rocks. There are practical tips and discussion about each.

There is available a study guide with a DVD (which is very likely to be our Spring Bible Study) as well as a 60 day devotional book. 

Favorite Quotes:
  • We can face things that are out of our control and not be out of control. (This is printed out and posted on my fridge!)
  • A soul who believes she can't leave...doesn't.
  • There is courage and strength in starting somewhere.
  • Condemnation defeats us. Conviction unlocks the greatest potential for change.
  •  Soul Integrity brings the passion of the exploder and the peacemaking of the stuffer under the authority of Jesus Christ where honesty and godliness embrace and balance each other.
  • Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. Holy restraint is the seed.
  • The more we dance around an issue, the more emotional yuck gets dragged into it.
  • My job isn't to fix the difficult people or enable them to continue disrespectful or abusive behaviors. My job is to be obedient to God in the way I act and respond to those people.
  • Comfort zones don't always have to be comfortable, just familiar.
  • Make the courageous choice to embrace what is and to fill our souls with all of the good reality right in front of us.
  • We don't need anyone's approval on our obedience. Only God's.
  • The Sabbath not only needs to be observed but also preserved. The observer remembers to rest. The preserver rests to remember - remember that it's all about God.
  • We get into trouble when, instead of parking our minds on truth, we let them idle in perception.
  • Anytime I start hearing lies speaking louder than truth, it's an indicator my soul is starving for God's Word.

I received a copy of the book from BookSneeze in exchange for an honest review. No additional compensation has been received and all opinions are my own.

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